The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Templars

Have been attending a training on Covey's 7 habits. Habit two is about setting goals to improve areas in your life. One of mine is to become a better father and husband. A Templar Man's goal indeed

Amazing Grace

I never quite understood the words to the song, "Amazing Grace"... but now I know.

I was lost but now I'm found...

I think the answers we need to find for redemption lie beyond ourselves.

Feels good to be home

Knight on Knight

My favorite tales as a child were those of King Arthur and the knights of the Roundtable. How noble, how powerful, and timeless. I read Morte De Arthur, The Once and Future King, and numerous other versions of the famed tales.

In my last year of teaching in a public school, I had the students read a new version of the King Arthur Story. I won't go into the details of the label, but suffice it to say the book was boring and sucked the life out of the story. Why? Well, in our age of political correctness and of not making judgments of any kind, the story was nothing more than a fable of some guys just playing pretend. Was there talk of infidelity? Nope. Any mention of Galahad and the Holy Grail? Nope. Merlin and his wisdom? Nope. Left out and gone. Of the notion of the Roundtable? Only cursory.

How sad, how truly unbelievably, sad. For it is in the tales of Lancelot, Guinevere, Galahad, Arthur, Merlin, and their successes, failures, and human frailty, that we pull away lessons that can give us guidance and hope. It is also about a model for leadership.

As I have created an identity for Templar Man, the stories of King Arthur and his Knights of the Roundtable have come back to me. Is there something for me? 21st Century man? Undeniably yes. Are there some valuable lessons for kids in the King Arthur stories. YES... let's not wash them aside my fellow adults and educators. They are not to be wasted, rubbed away as if they didn't exist. As if the message is as old as the stories.

So in a nutshell... Lessons I learned from King Arthur Stories.

1. Male Bonding- Yes males bond in a unique and different way than females... one is not better or worse per se, but when males have a direction, a focus, and a belief, men can be inspired to greatness. Men are by nature aggressive, and as Psychologist Michael Gurian argues, if males do not harness there aggression in positive ways, they will channel it in negative ways. Boys need to be taught the tools for channeling their aggressive impulses. Sports is often that training ground. If they don't have sports or a competent coach, they can often fall into the trap of violent gang culture or other inappropriate outlets.

2. Male chivalry- Ok so this one is probably on its way out, but the reason's why are totally wrong headed. I learned chivalry from my father. To him, opening a door for a woman was always required. When a woman comes to a table during a dinner conversation, all men must stand. Ok... so the fallout from the women's rights movement neutered these simple acts, as being paternalistic or in some bizarre way condescending. How truly sad. My father taught me these things as the ultimate show of respect to women. Just as the ultimate rule that my brother and I learned, never.... NEVER hit a woman, ever. My sisters of course reveled in this rule, and often teased my brother and I to the limit. Yet, as far as I know, we have never hit a woman. Can we please speak the truth that most females are weaker than males in physical strength? To observe these rules is a show of ultimate respect, fully realizing that women's strengths are many and just as important. I am sad that boys are no longer taught these rules. Is it a surprise that young boys and girls now gravitate towards rap music that often portrays women in the most derogatory ways imaginable. And few dare to speak out against it. Schools don't, parents don't, the media rarely acknowledges that the base crudeness of so many rap songs and the oppressive message it sends to men and women. So if anyone should read this... please I beg of you... take a listen to your kids collection of music from time to time. And please... I have never been big on censorship, but sometimes you have to tell them to delete certain songs, or at the very least have a good discussion on the harmful message of disrespect and degradation these songs convey. It could be the most important discussion you can have.


To be continued...

The Burning Bush

I've heard the story of the burning bush many times, but I never really understood its true message. Or at least a message that I could relate to.

The story of course is quite legendary. The story of Moses alone talks to God through the a flaming bush. God through the bush, tells Moses that it is he who must lead his people out of Egypt. Upon hearing this story in the past I took it as it was, I simple story. God telling Moses to do something . And who wouldn't listen to God? or a burning bush that was talking to you?

But there seemed to be so much more to this story when I heard it recently. Moses doesn't believe himself to be leadership material. This story is God's first big pep talk. God inspires Moses... he doesn't command him... he persuades him... He reasons with him. And Moses responds.... it is the first step that every leader must take. It is a step that only leads forward and not backward.

And lead Moses does. He needs to lead with persuasion and conviction... and he does.

That is the lesson I learned. Leading is a vision, then sharing the vision with passion and conviction and even ruffling feathers along the way.

The Burning Bush is inside of us all.

Templar Prayer

Dear Lord
Forgive me for I have sinned in thought word and deed
With your help let me set those sins afire
Stare deeply into their ashes
And emerge from them a better man.
Amen

It is working

So... the purpose of this blog was to help myself re-train my mind into the person I was. To take myself from Lancelot back to Galahad. Well perhaps I will never be able to completely do that, but I am getting there.

I am getting focused. I am paying more attention to my family. I am getting better organized. I am being kinder to my friends. I am trying to listen rather than speak. and.... I am standing up for myself when I am right.

I am not there yet and there will never be a time when I can stop and celebrate being perfect. But I am feeling better and stronger and more like myself than I have in a long time.

Templar Man principles are working. Now keep at it.

Why Templar Man

I think I introduced this concept already, but let me expound upon it. Why Templar Man? Well, the Templar's lived by a code that brought them success and prosperity. The prosperity they gained was not for personal expense but for the order as a whole to do great works. To hold oneself up to what the Templar's accomplished would be hard to do, especially in today's world.

However, the Templar analogy is fitting because it involves being committed to a higher purpose. And... willing to risk everything to obtain that higher purpose for the greater good. The red Cross on the cape to me symbolizes the bold statement of living for the cross with the white purity of purpose.

Enough said for now.