It is working

So... the purpose of this blog was to help myself re-train my mind into the person I was. To take myself from Lancelot back to Galahad. Well perhaps I will never be able to completely do that, but I am getting there.

I am getting focused. I am paying more attention to my family. I am getting better organized. I am being kinder to my friends. I am trying to listen rather than speak. and.... I am standing up for myself when I am right.

I am not there yet and there will never be a time when I can stop and celebrate being perfect. But I am feeling better and stronger and more like myself than I have in a long time.

Templar Man principles are working. Now keep at it.

Why Templar Man

I think I introduced this concept already, but let me expound upon it. Why Templar Man? Well, the Templar's lived by a code that brought them success and prosperity. The prosperity they gained was not for personal expense but for the order as a whole to do great works. To hold oneself up to what the Templar's accomplished would be hard to do, especially in today's world.

However, the Templar analogy is fitting because it involves being committed to a higher purpose. And... willing to risk everything to obtain that higher purpose for the greater good. The red Cross on the cape to me symbolizes the bold statement of living for the cross with the white purity of purpose.

Enough said for now.

Tradition

Today I took my daughter to the ortho and we listened to the Fiddler on the Roof.

The first few selections were very powerful and made me think of tradition, balance, and praise. These are all powerful components of a fulfilling life. Interestingly... the very comparison of a Fiddler on a roof is the very essence of the balance that men must play in their lives. Traditions help give us solid foundations to work from. A funny line in the introduction to the song "Tradition" is when Tevye talks realizes that he does not know where the tradition of the long string of the prayer shawl has come from. But does it matter? Perhaps, perhaps not. But it is a reminder of their constant devotion to God. Isn't that really what is important. Kind of like a ribbon around your finger to make you remember to remain focused on the big picture that will benefit you and the greater good.

An important theme of the Templar Man.

The Templar Man Society Code

I guess it is time to start thinking of a code for my new way of thinking...

But where to begin.  I thought that perhaps the answers to change could be found in religion.  As a Christian and since the Templars were indeed Christian in make up, that would be a good place to start.

As lesson I learned when I was young.  At 12 years old I played little league.  Baseball has always been a sport that I didn't feel comfortable playing..  Similar to golf, the variables to me seem so hard to control.  My last year in little league was a very successful one.  I started hitting.  My fielding was getting better.  I was able to scoop up a grounder and get someone out at first.  Hitting was pretty good too.  I seemed to see the ball be able to react to it as well.  However, as I hit my first "slump" I was unable to figure out how to correct it.  My baseball coaches, who certainly were kind men, didn't really have the patience or the know how to help me work out my desperate at bats.  So I thought that if I prayed that God would help me.  So before each game I prayed.   The strange thing was, that it didn't help at all.  In fact it got worse. 

So at this young age, I tried the reverse.  I remember thinking at the time... maybe God has better things to do than to help me with hitting.  So I didn't pray, and bang.  The hits started coming.  I was convinced that God wanted me to see that I had control over my life.  I had that power.  Asking him to do everything was essentially cheating, and realistically holding me back from achieving on my own.  And since then, I have always felt that God helps those who help themselves.  Years, later when I took that course in Sports Psychology I learned about a concept called the Locus Of Control.  Simply put, it is the perspective of how one sees their ability to change their circumstances.  Those with a low Locus of Control feel that they are simply feathers in the wind.  Blown about by circumstances and that only luck and hope can keep them afloat.  However, those with a high Locus of Control see themselves as agents of change in their own lives.  Thus, this reinforced my ideas gained so long ago on the baseball field.

I believe wholeheartedly that we have the ability to change our destiny.  To rise above our circumstances, however desperate they may be, and when we look within ourselves and take responsibility for our actions and outcomes... we can make lasting changes for ourselves, and feel good about it.

So rule number one of the Code of the Templar Man Society. 

I believe that I can make change happen in my life for the better.

Day 4

A good day..

I honestly feel stronger today.  I think my mental reconditioning program is beginning to show results.  It is a long way away though.

I went to my daughters basketball game, helped with shopping, changing the tires on my wife's car.  And felt good about myself.

Must continue on my upward progress, knowing that there will be difficult days ahead.

Day 3- Will I Make It?

Okay, a pretty good day.

Continuing to engage my mind with thoughts of becoming a better man and husband.  Took my daughters to their hockey game.  Coached on the sidelines.  Took my family to lunch.  Drove two hours home.  Bought my daughter a new ski jacket, and then took the family to see my mother at her apartment.

Pretty good stuff overall.  When we got home I have helped them with my daughters Algonquin project and have helped my wife update her ipod shuffle.

I have lost my patience a couple of times with that since I have been trying to do some things for myself.

But.. I must refocus, and resign myself to helping.  We are hoping to watch a family movie tonight.

Could be an all around good day.   Nice focus... need to be more patient though.

Day 2 of a Guide to a better man

The goal of this blog is to retrain my brain. 

As a college student I took a course called "Sports Psychology".  It was a fantastic course that has helped me understand myself both as an athlete and a person.

One of the concepts that I will always remember from that class was the idea that you control your brain.  Sounds obvious huh?  Except it isn't so easy sometimes.  How many of us have been alone in a house at night and have your fears start playing tricks on you?  Perhaps you see a scary movie that triggers this.  Are you in control of your brain?  Well to some extent yes.  But it isn't always so easy to turn off thoughts of fear and uncertainty.  It takes training.  It is why I started this blog entitled Templar Man..

Now I am not an expert on the Knights Templar.  But what I know is fascinating.  Their accomplishments in battle and banking are legendary.  So I thought they would be a fitting model to identify with and give me a symbol of guidance to begin from.

They were Christian, true.  But I don't mean to make this blog overly preachy.  I have always believed that God gives you choices that you must follow, and helps those who help themselves. 

So here I am.. I want to make myself a better person.  Not a perfect person, but a better person.  So here is my goal. 

This blog is meant to give me strength, give me commitment towards that goal.  I need to retrain my mind.  I need to become the husband and father that I should be.  One that is committed to doing what is right for them. 

So... to begin,  I am going to log off this computer and go help around the house.... Tada...

Step 1